The entire future of the Jewish nation hinges on a stolen blessing, a blind father, and a deeply uncomfortable question about means and ends.
Genesis is full of family conflict—but Sarah and Rebekah’s disagreements with Abraham and Isaac do more than divide a household. They help shape the future of the covenant. God tells Abraham to listen to Sarah; Rebekah receives the oracle that “the older shall serve the younger.” Yet Isaac appears to be moving in another direction, and Rebekah turns to deception to secure the blessing.
In this episode of Madlik: Disruptive Torah, Geoffrey Stern and Rabbi Adam Mintz explore domestic disputes, leadership without authority, and the difficult question of means and ends. We follow Jacob’s transformation into Israel, from the image of the crooked path to the promise of straightness, and ask what happens when people formed by life at the margins come to hold authority of their own.
The question reaches beyond Genesis to modern Israel: How does a sovereign nation balance the habits of survival and improvisation with the responsibilities of power?
Key Takeaways
- Family conflict shapes the future of the covenant. Sarah and Rebekah’s disagreements with their husbands are not background drama; their choices help determine who will inherit the promise.
- Leadership without authority raises hard questions about means and ends. Sarah and Rebekah act on insight their husbands do not seem to share. Rebekah’s deception may achieve the right outcome, but it leaves us asking what limited authority can demand—and what it can cost.
- The journey from Jacob to Israel is also a journey toward responsible power. The episode connects Jacob’s crooked path and Israel’s straightness to the difference between acting without authority and exercising sovereignty. Modern Israel faces that tension both among the nations and among its own communities.
Timestamps
00:00 Genesis Domestic Disputes
02:01 Themes Succession And Women
03:54 Rebecca Pregnancy Oracle
07:44 Rashi On Rivalry
11:37 Isaac Plans Blessing
13:33 Sponsor Break
14:40 Rebecca Deception Plan
16:42 Means Versus Ends
21:29 Aftermath And Tragedy
24:27 Sarah And Hagar Parallel
27:55 Jacob To Israel Straightness
30:47 Modern Israel Leadership
33:48 Closing Shabbat Shalom
Links & Learnings
Sign up for free and get more from our weekly newsletter https://madlik.com/
Sefaria Source Sheet: https://voices.sefaria.org/sheets/757583
Transcript here: https://madlik.substack.com/
This week, we discover that Genesis has a recurring theme of domestic marital
disputes that shape the future.
2
00:00:13,039 –> 00:00:21,063
Sarah tells a reluctant Abraham to expel Ishmael, and God tells Abraham, “Whatever
Sarah tells you, listen to her voice.”
3
00:00:21,063 –> 00:00:26,366
Rebekah seeks God’s counsel and learns that the older shall serve the younger.
4
00:00:26,366 –> 00:00:30,388
But Isaac appears to be moving in another direction.
5
00:00:30,388 –> 00:00:33,410
Besides couples therapy, what can you do
6
00:00:33,410 –> 00:00:38,611
when you see what the future requires but lack the authority to make it happen?
7
00:00:38,611 –> 00:00:42,412
Last week we explored Sarah as a leader without authority.
8
00:00:42,412 –> 00:00:48,434
This week Rebekah takes us into the difficult question of means and ends.
9
00:00:48,434 –> 00:00:51,875
Her plan succeeds, but through deception.
10
00:00:51,895 –> 00:01:00,537
We will discover in the text and later rabbinic thought that when one has authority,
one has the ability and obligation to be thoughtful and straight.
11
00:01:00,537 –> 00:01:03,144
But when one lacks authority,
12
00:01:03,144 –> 00:01:07,815
one may be forced to deviate and act impulsively.
13
00:01:07,936 –> 00:01:10,787
And what does that tension mean for modern Israel?
14
00:01:10,787 –> 00:01:18,739
A sovereign nation, yet one made up of tribes, many of whom still understand
themselves as minorities without authority?
15
00:01:18,739 –> 00:01:25,481
What happens when those who learn to lead from the margins come to hold authority of
their own?
16
00:01:26,542 –> 00:01:27,958
Welcome to Madlik.
17
00:01:27,958 –> 00:01:33,883
My name is Geoffrey Stern, and at Madlik we light a spark or shed some light on a
Jewish text or tradition.
18
00:01:33,883 –> 00:01:42,411
Along with Rabbi Adam Mintz, we host Madlik: Disruptive Torah on your favorite
podcast platform, and now on YouTube and Substack.
19
00:01:42,411 –> 00:01:48,136
We also publish a source sheet on Sefaria, and a link is included in the show notes.
20
00:01:48,136 –> 00:01:55,808
This week we read Parshat Toldot and discover how domestic disputes help give
birth to a nation. We wonder:
21
00:01:55,808 –> 00:02:01,340
What happens when leadership without authority begins to assume authority?
22
00:02:01,340 –> 00:02:08,703
So, Rabbi, I always thought that if you read all of Bereshit, there are certain key
themes.
23
00:02:08,703 –> 00:02:11,705
Clearly, one theme is choosing the second son.
24
00:02:11,705 –> 00:02:16,287
Or even choosing a son—the idea of the chosen one.
25
00:02:16,287 –> 00:02:21,669
Clearly, one of the main themes is miraculous birth.
26
00:02:21,669 –> 00:02:22,909
Yes, I said that.
27
00:02:22,909 –> 00:02:24,850
The Christians didn’t invent that.
28
00:02:24,850 –> 00:02:30,393
Every birth in Genesis is miraculous in the real sense of the word:
29
00:02:30,393 –> 00:02:33,414
when you want to have a child and it is difficult.
30
00:02:33,414 –> 00:02:38,016
But I hadn’t really thought about domestic disputes.
31
00:02:38,016 –> 00:02:43,279
And we have two parshiot where you can’t help connecting the dots.
32
00:02:43,279 –> 00:02:51,328
These are women, whether Sarah or Rebekah, who clearly are not on the same page as
their husband.
33
00:02:51,328 –> 00:02:55,783
I think with Sarah it comes more through the rabbinic texts.
34
00:02:55,783 –> 00:02:59,568
But clearly with Rebekah, it’s right out there.
35
00:02:59,568 –> 00:03:01,049
What do you think?
36
00:03:01,490 –> 00:03:07,297
Yeah, there’s no question that these are miraculous births.
37
00:03:07,297 –> 00:03:11,994
There’s no question that it’s not only about choosing the younger son, but
38
00:03:11,994 –> 00:03:18,857
succession. If you had to choose one word to describe the Book of Bereshit, it would
be succession.
39
00:03:18,857 –> 00:03:21,359
You need a successor.
40
00:03:21,359 –> 00:03:24,260
And the question is, who is that successor going to be?
41
00:03:24,260 –> 00:03:27,902
But here we have this domestic rivalry thing.
42
00:03:27,902 –> 00:03:31,804
And I think that I’ve not really noticed it all these years.
43
00:03:31,804 –> 00:03:36,542
And it’s easy enough to say, Rabbi, that Genesis
44
00:03:36,542 –> 00:03:38,464
really focuses on the women.
45
00:03:38,464 –> 00:03:40,846
It gives the women a real personality.
46
00:03:40,846 –> 00:03:42,668
It gives them a real role.
47
00:03:42,668 –> 00:03:49,054
But when I say domestic conflict, it gives them a role vis-à-vis the man.
48
00:03:49,054 –> 00:03:52,438
There’s a real friction here, there’s a real tension here.
49
00:03:52,438 –> 00:03:54,289
So let’s look at the verses.
50
00:03:54,289 –> 00:03:57,222
We are in Genesis 25:20.
51
00:03:57,222 –> 00:04:01,368
Isaac was 40 years old when he took his wife Rebekah.
52
00:04:01,368 –> 00:04:07,483
daughter of Bethuel the Aramean of Paddan-aram, sister of Laban the Aramean.
53
00:04:07,864 –> 00:04:22,177
Isaac pleaded with God on behalf of his wife. The Hebrew is lenokhach; it can also
mean “opposite his wife.” She was infertile, and God responded to his plea, and his
wife Rebekah conceived.
54
00:04:22,177 –> 00:04:22,998
conceived.
55
00:04:22,998 –> 00:04:28,082
So here we have the miraculous birth theme.
56
00:04:28,406 –> 00:04:30,167
And this is a funny story, right?
57
00:04:30,167 –> 00:04:36,529
This is totally unexpected: we have a sense of the babies fighting with one another.
58
00:04:36,529 –> 00:04:38,070
And we have no sonograms.
59
00:04:38,070 –> 00:04:38,880
So here you go.
60
00:04:38,880 –> 00:04:41,431
“But the children struggled in her womb.”
61
00:04:41,431 –> 00:04:46,693
So all of a sudden, the writer of the text knows we’re talking about twins.
62
00:04:46,693 –> 00:04:54,216
I can assure you that a woman who has this kind of experience, especially if it’s
her first baby, doesn’t know it’s twins.
63
00:04:54,216 –> 00:04:56,607
She just knows there’s a lot going on in there.
64
00:04:56,607 –> 00:04:58,348
And she said, “If so,
65
00:04:58,348 –> 00:05:00,199
why do I exist?”
66
00:05:00,259 –> 00:05:13,838
In other words, the text implies that she knew either she was having two children or
that one child had conflicting, polarized impulses.
67
00:05:13,838 –> 00:05:15,650
It was bipolar, right?
68
00:05:15,650 –> 00:05:18,272
One way or the other, she said, “What is this?”
69
00:05:18,272 –> 00:05:19,632
And God answered her.
70
00:05:19,632 –> 00:05:23,195
So the text says, and God answered her.
71
00:05:23,195 –> 00:05:28,248
We’re going to see that all of the commentators seem to require
72
00:05:28,248 –> 00:05:38,327
that it wasn’t God directly, but some sort of oracle—whether Shem or, we’ll see,
perhaps Abraham.
73
00:05:38,327 –> 00:05:47,526
But the text says, “God answered her: Two nations are in your womb; two separate
peoples shall issue from your body.
74
00:05:47,526 –> 00:05:53,108
One people shall be mightier than the other, and the older shall serve the younger.
75
00:05:53,108 –> 00:05:55,557
So here we have it for the first time.
76
00:05:55,557 –> 00:06:10,803
The actual bumper sticker is on the car. It’s not a coincidence that, as you read
Genesis, you find that the older shall serve
77
00:06:10,803 –> 00:06:11,593
the younger.
78
00:06:11,593 –> 00:06:13,994
It’s part of the plan.
79
00:06:14,348 –> 00:06:18,501
When her time to give birth was at hand, there were twins in her womb.
80
00:06:18,501 –> 00:06:21,583
So now it makes sense, right?
81
00:06:21,583 –> 00:06:23,434
What a big surprise:
82
00:06:23,434 –> 00:06:25,946
“My God, there’s another baby coming out!”
83
00:06:25,946 –> 00:06:29,968
The first one emerged red like a hairy mantle all over.
84
00:06:29,968 –> 00:06:36,593
So they named him—vayikre’u—Esau.
85
00:06:36,593 –> 00:06:38,584
Then his brother emerged.
86
00:06:38,584 –> 00:06:41,115
holding on to the heel of Esau.
87
00:06:41,115 –> 00:06:44,958
So the translation says, so they named him Jacob.
88
00:06:44,958 –> 00:06:49,620
But if you actually read the word, it’s vayikra.
89
00:06:49,620 –> 00:06:52,742
He named him Jacob in the singular.
90
00:06:52,742 –> 00:06:54,993
But more importantly, what did they call him?
91
00:06:54,993 –> 00:06:56,864
They called him Jacob.
92
00:06:56,864 –> 00:06:59,966
So how does Fox translate Jacob?
93
00:06:59,966 –> 00:07:02,827
Yaakov, or “heel-holder.”
94
00:07:02,827 –> 00:07:08,050
The word for a heel is akev; hence Yaakov.
95
00:07:08,050 –> 00:07:14,213
So “heel-holder” doesn’t have a really nice ring to it.
96
00:07:14,213 –> 00:07:26,060
It’s hard to make that into a name that means “wow, he’s beautiful, wonderful,
bold.”
97
00:07:26,060 –> 00:07:28,321
No, he’s a heel holder.
98
00:07:28,381 –> 00:07:31,923
Isaac was 60 years old when they were born.
99
00:07:31,923 –> 00:07:37,346
So early on, we already have conflict—not only in the womb,
100
00:07:37,346 –> 00:07:44,049
but possibly in the way the husband and wife prayed in their different corners.
101
00:07:44,049 –> 00:07:46,150
Let’s go to Rashi.
102
00:07:46,150 –> 00:07:55,626
Rashi says, “Facing his wife”—lenokhach ishto: he stood in one corner and prayed,
while she stood in the other corner and prayed.
103
00:07:55,626 –> 00:08:04,598
I kind of see this, Rabbi, as a parallel to what they said about Abraham and Sarah
when they left on their Lech Lecha journey. It says that they created nefashot.
104
00:08:04,598 –> 00:08:05,928
The rabbis said
105
00:08:05,928 –> 00:08:12,384
Abraham made the men, and Sarah made the women.
106
00:08:12,384 –> 00:08:20,051
So I see this as a hint that they are praying, but they are unique, individual
personalities.
107
00:08:20,051 –> 00:08:30,620
And, of course, when Rashi says “corner,” he didn’t know anything about heavyweight
boxing, but we can’t help thinking of two different corners.
108
00:08:30,620 –> 00:08:31,761
Correct.
109
00:08:32,042 –> 00:08:32,737
Okay.
110
00:08:32,737 –> 00:08:35,419
The next Rashi: “The children struggled.”
111
00:08:35,419 –> 00:08:44,264
Another explanation is that they struggled with one another and quarreled over how
to divide the two worlds as their inheritance.
112
00:08:44,264 –> 00:08:47,265
So that gets back to what you were saying before.
113
00:08:47,265 –> 00:08:49,707
This is all about succession.
114
00:08:49,707 –> 00:08:59,232
This is all about who inherits this world, this planet—what Abraham was meant to
give.
115
00:08:59,232 –> 00:09:02,168
So clearly, this is there from the get-go.
116
00:09:02,168 –> 00:09:06,442
It’s not only Rashi; it’s in the text itself.
117
00:09:06,442 –> 00:09:08,764
This is more than two children.
118
00:09:08,764 –> 00:09:15,749
This is what those children represent and what their progeny will inherit.
119
00:09:15,749 –> 00:09:17,791
The stakes are high.
120
00:09:17,791 –> 00:09:22,215
And finally, Rashi says, “He called his name Jacob.”
121
00:09:22,215 –> 00:09:31,552
Another explanation is that his father called him Jacob because he was grasping
Esau’s heel.
122
00:09:31,712 –> 00:09:44,271
Rashi picks up on the grammar. It’s almost as if we’re saying that from the moment
they were born—
123
00:09:44,271 –> 00:09:47,453
where you look at it and it’s already distinctive.
124
00:09:47,453 –> 00:09:53,177
you could say this child is special, or you could say he’s the runt of the litter.
125
00:09:53,177 –> 00:09:58,821
He’s not the one who’s going to carry on my dynasty.
126
00:09:58,821 –> 00:10:01,000
But I love the fact that
127
00:10:01,000 –> 00:10:13,937
from the get-go, we have this fracture, these differences of opinion. And yes,
Jacob has a problem with his name from the get-go.
128
00:10:13,937 –> 00:10:14,237
Right.
129
00:10:14,237 –> 00:10:21,481
Now, let me just say: you skipped over the first opinion in that Rashi, which says
that God called him Yaakov.
130
00:10:22,202 –> 00:10:23,542
That’s great.
131
00:10:23,542 –> 00:10:30,606
That opinion says that you already know from the beginning that Yaakov is going to
win,
132
00:10:30,606 –> 00:10:32,847
because it’s God who calls him Jacob.
133
00:10:32,847 –> 00:10:35,207
He doesn’t call him Esau, but he calls him Jacob.
134
00:10:35,207 –> 00:10:37,848
So God is on Jacob’s side.
135
00:10:38,288 –> 00:10:39,469
So I love that.
136
00:10:39,469 –> 00:10:40,729
I absolutely love that.
137
00:10:40,729 –> 00:10:54,673
And it shows that the trajectory of our texts favors the underdog, the one you
wouldn’t instinctively choose as the successor.
138
00:10:54,673 –> 00:10:56,994
But in this particular case,
139
00:10:57,174 –> 00:11:06,621
in Yitzhak’s case, he didn’t see it as something flattering.
140
00:11:06,621 –> 00:11:07,582
I agree with you.
141
00:11:07,582 –> 00:11:15,007
The first part of Rashi sees it as something flattering. That’s when you truly are
making a paradigm shift.
142
00:11:15,007 –> 00:11:16,651
So let’s go.
143
00:11:16,651 –> 00:11:20,401
There’s a lot of minutiae that happens in between.
144
00:11:20,401 –> 00:11:24,294
There’s the story of the porridge, which was probably put in there to justify the
later narrative.
145
00:11:24,542 –> 00:11:31,545
I think that’s the way to understand it.
146
00:11:31,545 –> 00:11:35,207
It’s justifying what was already there.
147
00:11:35,207 –> 00:11:37,468
But meanwhile, we’re going to the chase.
148
00:11:37,468 –> 00:11:48,252
In Genesis 27, it says, When Isaac was old and his eyes were too dim to see, he
called his older son Esau and said to him, My son.
149
00:11:48,252 –> 00:11:49,503
So he calls him my son.
150
00:11:49,503 –> 00:11:50,713
He’s the older.
151
00:11:50,713 –> 00:11:52,334
He answered, Here I am.
152
00:11:52,334 –> 00:11:56,057
In great biblical fashion, he says, “Hineni, Dad. I’m here.”
153
00:11:56,057 –> 00:12:00,741
And he said, I am old now, and I do not know how soon I may die.
154
00:12:00,741 –> 00:12:06,005
Take your gear, your quiver, your bow, and go out into the open and hunt me some
game.
155
00:12:06,005 –> 00:12:15,151
Then prepare a dish for me such as I like, and bring it to me to eat, so that I may
give you my innermost blessing before I die.
156
00:12:15,151 –> 00:12:16,032
Here we go.
157
00:12:16,032 –> 00:12:19,134
Verse five of chapter twenty seven.
158
00:12:19,158 –> 00:12:24,020
Rebekah had been listening as Isaac spoke to his son Esau.
159
00:12:24,020 –> 00:12:41,807
A lot of the commentaries ask, or trouble themselves to ask,
160
00:12:41,807 –> 00:12:47,629
whether Rebekah told Isaac about the message from God—whether she gave him the memo
161
00:12:47,690 –> 00:12:49,096
that says the older shall serve the younger.
162
00:12:49,096 –> 00:12:51,068
What about Isaac?
163
00:12:51,068 –> 00:13:02,236
Did Isaac consult with Rebekah before he decided to call Esau and ask him to make
him some food and give him a blessing?
164
00:13:02,236 –> 00:13:05,748
It really does work both ways, but none of the commentaries ask it.
165
00:13:05,748 –> 00:13:06,272
It’s very strange.
166
00:13:06,272 –> 00:13:07,450
Yeah, that’s funny, right?
167
00:13:07,450 –> 00:13:08,981
Because it’s on Rebekah.
168
00:13:08,981 –> 00:13:12,443
But with Isaac, you don’t expect it of him.
169
00:13:12,443 –> 00:13:16,806
I like the idea that Isaac and Rebekah didn’t communicate well,
170
00:13:16,952 –> 00:13:19,624
that neither checked with the other.
171
00:13:20,145 –> 00:13:21,676
I think that’s the peshat.
172
00:13:21,676 –> 00:13:23,227
That’s the simple meaning.
173
00:13:23,227 –> 00:13:25,909
That’s what the text is trying to show us.
174
00:13:25,909 –> 00:13:32,574
They were not communicating, and they were on different pages from the get-go.
175
00:13:33,815 –> 00:13:37,437
And now a word from our sponsor.
176
00:13:37,598 –> 00:13:43,302
If there’s one thing we value at the Madlik podcast, it’s reading texts and talking
about them.
177
00:13:43,340 –> 00:13:47,991
That’s why I’m excited to share something I created called VoiceGift Play.
178
00:13:47,991 –> 00:13:52,893
It fits in the palm of your hand like a remote control and clips onto any book.
179
00:13:52,893 –> 00:13:58,894
It’s inspired by those old school museum audio guides, but this is personal.
180
00:13:58,894 –> 00:14:06,276
VoiceGift Play stores up to 10 hours of audio across 999 numbered recordings.
181
00:14:06,296 –> 00:14:12,504
You simply enter a number to record a comment, memory, or explanation, and enter the
same number to
182
00:14:12,504 –> 00:14:13,834
play it back.
183
00:14:13,834 –> 00:14:23,697
It’s perfect for b’nei mitzvah students practicing their leyning, capturing
Grandpa’s favorite tune, or recording Chad Gadya in a voice that matters.
184
00:14:23,738 –> 00:14:26,158
Go to voice.gift.
185
00:14:26,158 –> 00:14:34,521
That’s www.voice.gift. Use code MADLIK for 15% off.
186
00:14:34,801 –> 00:14:35,561
Thanks.
187
00:14:35,561 –> 00:14:38,122
And now back to our podcast.
188
00:14:39,744 –> 00:14:40,915
And it goes on.
189
00:14:40,915 –> 00:14:50,039
So when Esau has gone out to hunt game, Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “I overheard
your father speaking.”
190
00:14:50,039 –> 00:14:52,154
So this is how that family ran.
191
00:14:52,154 –> 00:14:56,942
It was dysfunctional, and that was not the surprise here.
192
00:14:56,942 –> 00:15:05,866
She overheard your father speaking to your brother Esau, saying, “Bring me some game
and prepare a dish for me to eat,
193
00:15:06,186 –> 00:15:09,529
so that I may bless you with God’s approval before I die.”
194
00:15:09,529 –> 00:15:14,533
Again, she adds “with God’s approval,” but she understands the stakes here.
195
00:15:14,533 –> 00:15:17,366
And now she’s talking to her son, her favorite son.
196
00:15:17,366 –> 00:15:20,518
Now, my son, listen carefully as I instruct you.
197
00:15:20,518 –> 00:15:27,144
Go to the flock and fetch me two choice kids, and I will make of them a dish for
your father, such as he likes.
198
00:15:27,144 –> 00:15:32,368
Then take it to your father to eat, in order that he may bless you before he dies.
199
00:15:32,368 –> 00:15:34,680
Jacob answered his mother Rebekah,
200
00:15:34,680 –> 00:15:39,194
“But my brother Esau is a hairy man, and I am smooth-skinned.
201
00:15:39,194 –> 00:15:48,401
If my father touches me, I shall appear to him as a trickster and bring upon myself
a curse, not a blessing.”
202
00:15:48,742 –> 00:15:54,387
So it’s obvious what’s at stake here, and it’s obvious who’s running the show.
203
00:15:54,387 –> 00:15:58,231
It’s Rebekah, as you said before, who is the protagonist here.
204
00:15:58,231 –> 00:16:02,526
And it’s also understood that Jacob is
205
00:16:02,526 –> 00:16:04,136
going through a learning curve.
206
00:16:04,136 –> 00:16:05,687
He’s pushing back.
207
00:16:05,687 –> 00:16:10,588
He’s trying to understand his mother. He’s saying, “I don’t want to do it.”
208
00:16:10,588 –> 00:16:14,350
But his mother said to him, “Your curse, my son, be upon me.”
209
00:16:14,350 –> 00:16:16,750
So she takes the authority here.
210
00:16:16,750 –> 00:16:19,371
She is the one who’s pulling the strings.
211
00:16:19,371 –> 00:16:22,312
Just do as I say and go fetch them for me.
212
00:16:22,312 –> 00:16:27,914
Now it’s very important to say here that you don’t yet know who is right.
213
00:16:28,274 –> 00:16:29,088
You’re right.
214
00:16:29,088 –> 00:16:32,661
Right. Rebekah is the one taking matters into her own hands.
215
00:16:32,661 –> 00:16:35,583
But the Torah doesn’t really tip its hand.
216
00:16:35,583 –> 00:16:38,146
It doesn’t tell you, is she gonna win?
217
00:16:38,146 –> 00:16:41,808
The drama is still up in the air at this point.
218
00:16:42,089 –> 00:16:47,934
Well, again, I don’t think you know who’s going to win. But do you know who’s right?
219
00:16:47,934 –> 00:16:51,997
Because there are two things in the balance.
220
00:16:51,997 –> 00:16:58,668
One is that she went to the oracle, she went to Shem, she heard from God—so she is
right.
221
00:16:58,668 –> 00:17:04,002
But what starts to gnaw at you is the means to the end.
222
00:17:04,002 –> 00:17:06,263
How is she going about it?
223
00:17:06,263 –> 00:17:08,765
That’s what everybody struggles with.
224
00:17:08,765 –> 00:17:09,475
They struggle:
225
00:17:09,475 –> 00:17:13,788
Why didn’t she just tell Yitzhak that she had an oracle?
226
00:17:13,788 –> 00:17:15,589
Why didn’t she communicate with him?
227
00:17:15,589 –> 00:17:23,898
And you’re saying this was a dysfunctional family, and she knew Isaac operated on
his own.
228
00:17:23,898 –> 00:17:27,458
And she is following Sarah,
229
00:17:27,458 –> 00:17:31,881
who had to stand up, put her foot down, and say, “This is the way it’s going to be.
230
00:17:31,881 –> 00:17:33,102
I’ve heard from God.”
231
00:17:33,102 –> 00:17:37,685
So I think it’s complex, for sure.
232
00:17:37,685 –> 00:17:43,370
So that’s interesting. You think this story plays on the earlier story about going
to the oracle.
233
00:17:43,370 –> 00:17:49,728
And therefore, you know she’s right, but the means are problematic.
234
00:17:49,728 –> 00:17:52,800
Number one, they’re problematic because she’s a trickster.
235
00:17:52,800 –> 00:17:57,203
Number two, they’re problematic because there’s no communication in the family.
236
00:17:57,203 –> 00:17:58,444
A double.
237
00:17:58,664 –> 00:17:59,104
Yeah.
238
00:17:59,104 –> 00:18:08,731
I think that’s why I said in the introduction: if last week we were introduced to
leadership without authority, here we’re trying to find out how that works.
239
00:18:08,731 –> 00:18:10,632
What are the mechanics of it?
240
00:18:10,632 –> 00:18:19,616
Rebekah doesn’t have the authority, but she’s taking the lead because she knows
she’s right—because God told her this is how it’s going to end.
241
00:18:19,616 –> 00:18:29,911
That’s where this becomes interesting, especially to us moderns, but I think to any
listener. I’ve talked about this before: this is as close to
242
00:18:29,911 –> 00:18:31,832
Megillat Esther as you can get.
243
00:18:31,832 –> 00:18:40,235
Everybody knows how it’s going to turn out, but there’s a back-and-forth, there’s
drama.
244
00:18:40,235 –> 00:18:46,438
What I’m saying is that in Esther, you know who the bad guy is.
245
00:18:46,520 –> 00:18:54,694
There’s a reading of this story, Geoffrey, in which Esau is the sympathetic
character.
246
00:18:54,755 –> 00:18:57,596
You could say that it’s not his fault.
247
00:18:58,396 –> 00:19:02,138
And you could even say that Isaac is a sympathetic character.
248
00:19:02,138 –> 00:19:09,092
It starts by saying he’s old and can’t see; they’re taking advantage of an old
person.
249
00:19:09,903 –> 00:19:16,364
So what I think we both agree on is that it’s complicated.
250
00:19:16,364 –> 00:19:23,800
That’s what it’s like when you have leadership without authority.
251
00:19:23,800 –> 00:19:30,626
You can’t just make an edict and say, “This is what God says. This is the way it’s
going to be.”
252
00:19:30,626 –> 00:19:31,947
That’s how Moses leads.
253
00:19:31,947 –> 00:19:36,631
In Rebekah’s case, she doesn’t have those tools.
254
00:19:36,631 –> 00:19:40,180
So we’re really getting into the weeds
255
00:19:40,180 –> 00:19:44,714
and seeing that people are going to be hurt here.
256
00:19:44,714 –> 00:19:47,610
She is hacking the system, so to speak.
257
00:19:47,610 –> 00:20:01,509
But it’s a fascinating and compelling story precisely because it mirrors life when
you’re working from the sidelines.
258
00:20:01,509 –> 00:20:07,394
We all know this story, and the rabbis parse each word
259
00:20:07,394 –> 00:20:11,457
to make sure that maybe Isaac never actually tells a lie.
260
00:20:11,457 –> 00:20:13,898
His father says, “Are you Esau?”
261
00:20:13,898 –> 00:20:15,129
And he says, “I am.”
262
00:20:15,129 –> 00:20:17,961
And then so forth and so on.
263
00:20:17,961 –> 00:20:20,563
“Thou protestest too much,” I think.
264
00:20:20,563 –> 00:20:22,745
Just let it be as it is.
265
00:20:22,745 –> 00:20:30,370
But I think the punchline is: hakol kol Yaakov, vehayadayim yedei Esav—“The voice
is the voice of Jacob, and the hands are the hands of Esau.”
266
00:20:30,370 –> 00:20:36,620
That ultimately what is happening here is that we end up with.
267
00:20:36,620 –> 00:20:47,516
We end up with the voice of Jacob and the accoutrements—the feel of power—of Esau.
268
00:20:47,516 –> 00:20:53,519
And ultimately, if I had to symbolize this moment, this is what happens:
269
00:20:53,519 –> 00:21:05,708
through hook or crook, Rebekah and Yaakov get to the point where, even though they
have only the voice and no authority,
270
00:21:05,708 –> 00:21:21,491
by scheming and conniving, they’re able to get some authority for that moment by
putting on Esau’s hands.
271
00:21:21,542 –> 00:21:23,633
And that’s what it’s really all about.
272
00:21:23,633 –> 00:21:29,100
That’s why I say it’s a question of what the ends are and how you get there.
273
00:21:29,100 –> 00:21:40,555
I said that I don’t really see this as a major theme running through the whole book
of Bereshit, but it is a minor theme.
274
00:21:40,555 –> 00:21:45,817
And I wanted to pick that up with Sarah and Abraham.
275
00:21:45,817 –> 00:21:58,862
But before I do, just as with Sarah and Abraham, perhaps there seems to be some
reconciliation at the end, when Abraham comes from Beersheba and buries Sarah in
Hebron.
276
00:21:59,034 –> 00:22:05,362
at the end, what are the instructions that both parents give to their son?
277
00:22:05,362 –> 00:22:14,972
Rebekah says to Isaac, “I am disgusted with my life because of the Hittite women.
278
00:22:14,972 –> 00:22:19,906
If Jacob marries a Hittite woman like these, among the native women, what
279
00:22:19,906 –> 00:22:21,548
good will life be to me?”
280
00:22:21,548 –> 00:22:26,353
At the beginning, she says, “What good is my life with two children fighting inside
me?”
281
00:22:26,353 –> 00:22:30,076
Now she’s saying, “I don’t want you to marry the local shiksa.
282
00:22:30,076 –> 00:22:32,359
I want you to go back to Aram.”
283
00:22:32,359 –> 00:22:36,893
And sure enough, in Genesis 28, Isaac sends for Jacob.
284
00:22:36,893 –> 00:22:44,194
This is after he knows that he’s had the wool pulled over his eyes and that he
blessed Jacob.
285
00:22:44,194 –> 00:22:50,136
He instructed him saying, You shall not take a wife from among the Canaanite women.
286
00:22:50,136 –> 00:22:51,416
So it is interesting.
287
00:22:51,416 –> 00:22:55,137
At the end, they finally do agree on that.
288
00:22:55,137 –> 00:23:09,921
But I think it’s important to say that if this conflict between husband and wife is
a mini-theme, part of the reason is that it doesn’t end well for anybody.
289
00:23:09,921 –> 00:23:13,920
For the first time I started thinking about our patriarchs.
290
00:23:13,920 –> 00:23:19,290
If you follow the rabbinic commentaries, Abraham and Sarah die separately.
291
00:23:19,290 –> 00:23:22,206
They’re estranged from each other.
292
00:23:22,206 –> 00:23:27,800
The Akedah—the binding of Isaac—was just too much for Sarah to bear.
293
00:23:27,800 –> 00:23:34,405
And here, Rebekah pulled all the right strings and achieved all her goals.
294
00:23:34,405 –> 00:23:37,450
But she never sees her son again.
295
00:23:37,450 –> 00:23:41,760
We never hear of her with her husband again.
296
00:23:41,790 –> 00:23:45,512
It’s a tragedy.
297
00:23:45,512 –> 00:23:47,834
you can’t say anything but that.
298
00:23:47,834 –> 00:23:54,938
And looking forward, we’ll see this with Jacob and Rachel.
299
00:23:54,938 –> 00:24:03,963
Our patriarchs and matriarchs, if you look at them individually or as couples, are
tragic figures.
300
00:24:03,963 –> 00:24:07,225
And they’re not on the same page, right?
301
00:24:07,225 –> 00:24:09,452
I mean, you know, with Jacob.
302
00:24:09,452 –> 00:24:16,135
It’s because of his father-in-law, but there’s some confusion about who belongs to
whom.
303
00:24:16,135 –> 00:24:20,527
Isaac and Rebekah don’t seem to be on the same page.
304
00:24:20,527 –> 00:24:26,389
And with Abraham and Sarah, because of Hagar, you’re not sure they’re on the same
page either.
305
00:24:26,389 –> 00:24:27,110
Yep.
306
00:24:27,110 –> 00:24:31,331
So let’s go quickly to Abraham and Sarah.
307
00:24:31,331 –> 00:24:38,054
In the little schmooze we had before we started the podcast,
308
00:24:38,056 –> 00:24:49,431
I noticed that at the Shtiebel you spoke about Abraham and Rebekah, the
connection between the two of them, and we’ll get to that.
309
00:24:49,431 –> 00:25:03,537
In terms of Abraham, in Genesis 21, we all know the story: Sarah was barren, and she
says to Abraham, “Why don’t you take the handmaid Hagar, the Egyptian, and have
310
00:25:03,537 –> 00:25:04,586
a child with her?”
311
00:25:04,586 –> 00:25:06,868
A surrogate mother, if you will.
312
00:25:06,868 –> 00:25:11,561
Then Sarah saw the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham playing.
313
00:25:11,561 –> 00:25:20,586
She said to Abraham, Cast out that slave woman and her son, for the son of that
slave shall not share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.
314
00:25:20,586 –> 00:25:24,948
So this gets to succession, as you were talking about before.
315
00:25:24,948 –> 00:25:35,874
Just as some of us question what Rebekah did, there are those who question what
Sarah is doing here.
316
00:25:35,874 –> 00:25:36,724
She’s
317
00:25:36,866 –> 00:25:45,634
She’s kicking out this innocent child with a surrogate mother she was responsible
for bringing into the family.
318
00:25:45,634 –> 00:25:51,960
And sure enough, the matter distressed Abraham greatly, for it concerned his son.
319
00:25:51,960 –> 00:25:57,865
So now he’s looking at the succession, just like Jacob looks at Esau in the
succession.
320
00:25:57,865 –> 00:26:03,530
But when God speaks to Abraham, and the person being addressed is a man,
321
00:26:03,666 –> 00:26:05,317
the rabbis have no problem with that.
322
00:26:05,317 –> 00:26:08,448
They don’t say it came through Shem or somebody else.
323
00:26:08,448 –> 00:26:09,329
It’s direct.
324
00:26:09,329 –> 00:26:13,230
Do not be distressed over the boy or your slave.
325
00:26:13,230 –> 00:26:15,571
That means the boy or Hagar.
326
00:26:15,571 –> 00:26:25,295
“Whatever Sarah tells you, do as she says”—the time-honored advice you probably give
every couple under the chuppah.
327
00:26:25,295 –> 00:26:28,307
The best response is always going to be, “Yes, dear.”
328
00:26:28,307 –> 00:26:29,957
Yeah, right.
329
00:26:30,338 –> 00:26:31,522
But in any case.
330
00:26:31,522 –> 00:26:37,707
So here again, it’s just as conflicted as the story of Rebekah, but a lot shorter.
331
00:26:37,707 –> 00:26:41,430
And we read this on the first day of Rosh Hashanah.
332
00:26:41,430 –> 00:26:44,032
It’s a powerful story.
333
00:26:44,032 –> 00:26:48,816
For it is through Isaac that offspring shall be continued for you.
334
00:26:48,816 –> 00:26:55,161
So, Rabbi, it’s interesting that in both cases, God is working through the wife.
335
00:26:55,161 –> 00:27:01,176
God is working through the mother and using the mother to shape the
336
00:27:01,176 –> 00:27:03,167
destiny of our people.
337
00:27:03,167 –> 00:27:03,717
Yeah.
338
00:27:03,717 –> 00:27:05,848
There’s a lot to be said there.
339
00:27:05,848 –> 00:27:16,413
The mother understands better than the father, even though the succession is really
the father’s succession, right?
340
00:27:16,413 –> 00:27:18,654
It’s Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
341
00:27:18,654 –> 00:27:23,616
The succession is through the male, but the wife is the one who understands it.
342
00:27:23,616 –> 00:27:29,418
Sarah understands it, Rebekah understands it, and maybe Rachel understands it too.
343
00:27:29,624 –> 00:27:43,458
Just as the beginning of Rashi says that God actually called him Yaakov because God
may like the underdog, it’s almost natural
344
00:27:43,458 –> 00:27:52,241
that God works through Sarah and Rebekah, who are outliers, leaders without
authority.
345
00:27:52,271 –> 00:27:55,756
And so that connects our two parshiot.
346
00:27:55,756 –> 00:28:06,092
I want to get into the mashma’ut, the meaning of the name Yaakov, because it’s
pivotal in the story.
347
00:28:06,092 –> 00:28:09,754
Even though it happens a little bit later, we get a name change.
348
00:28:09,754 –> 00:28:20,120
In Genesis 32, it says, “Your name shall no longer be Yaakov, but Israel, for you
have striven with beings divine and human and have prevailed.”
349
00:28:20,120 –> 00:28:23,842
And I’m going to turn to our friend the Emek Davar,
350
00:28:23,842 –> 00:28:27,064
who has an amazing interpretation.
351
00:28:27,064 –> 00:28:39,554
He says, “In saying, ‘For you have striven with God,’ he uprooted the name Jacob,
because Jacob indicates ‘the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately
wicked.’”
352
00:28:39,554 –> 00:28:51,352
So what happens with the name change is that Jacob leaves behind the persona of the
one who is deceitful and desperately wicked, and becomes Israel.
353
00:28:51,352 –> 00:28:56,406
Israel denotes straightness, as it says, “The crooked shall be made straight.”
354
00:28:56,406 –> 00:29:02,550
So in the word Yisrael, there is not only the idea of struggling with God; there is
also yashar, straight.
355
00:29:02,550 –> 00:29:09,434
And if you remember, the Netziv said the whole book of Bereshit is called Sefer
HaYashar—the Book of the Upright.
356
00:29:09,434 –> 00:29:10,915
It means “the straight.”
357
00:29:10,915 –> 00:29:20,866
And so the Emek Davar is going to argue that there are two personas, Jacob and
Israel,
358
00:29:20,866 –> 00:29:22,847
and also two personas of our people.
359
00:29:22,847 –> 00:29:35,293
He makes an amazing argument when he takes it up later. He says that when we had our
first redemption out of Egypt, we had to do it with a lie.
360
00:29:35,293 –> 00:29:41,917
We had to say to Pharaoh, “We’re just going to the desert to worship our God, and
we’ll be right back.”
361
00:29:41,917 –> 00:29:45,334
We did it in haste, in the thick of the night.
362
00:29:45,334 –> 00:29:54,480
He says that in the future we’ll be able to do it yashar, like Israel, standing
straight with our arms raised.
363
00:29:54,480 –> 00:30:01,204
We’ll do it slowly, in front of the whole world, without cunning and deception.
364
00:30:01,204 –> 00:30:12,002
The Emek Davar creates this paradox: when you’re without authority, you might have to
work
365
00:30:12,002 –> 00:30:20,648
by hacking the system; when you have authority, you’re obligated to walk upright and
be straight.
366
00:30:20,648 –> 00:30:28,994
And he makes a wonderful play on what we say in the Haggadah: Do we always have to
remember Egypt?
367
00:30:28,994 –> 00:30:30,955
And his answer is yes.
368
00:30:30,955 –> 00:30:40,482
No matter how yashar we become, Rabbi, we need to know that there will be times
369
00:30:40,482 –> 00:30:42,524
when we still have to be imaginative.
370
00:30:42,524 –> 00:30:47,448
We still have to be innovative.
371
00:30:47,448 –> 00:30:59,968
We still have to think outside the box.
372
00:30:59,968 –> 00:31:05,062
And I want to finish, as I did last week, by reading a little from Ronald Heifetz,
who takes the argument about leading without authority to the question of
373
00:31:05,062 –> 00:31:10,176
what happens when that leader without authority begins to gain authority.
374
00:31:10,176 –> 00:31:20,649
I think that’s the moment we’re in with the State of Israel today.
375
00:31:20,649 –> 00:31:25,950
On the one hand, we’re a sovereign state and a nation among the family of nations;
on the other, we’re still a minority fighting for our lives.
376
00:31:25,950 –> 00:31:38,074
It’s the challenge of being able to focus on and balance both of those realities.
377
00:31:38,074 –> 00:31:38,880
He writes: “Over time, a person who begins without authority, or who leads beyond
whatever authority she has, may have to construct, strengthen, and sometimes broaden
378
00:31:38,880 –> 00:31:42,232
her base of informal authority in order to get more leverage.
379
00:31:42,232 –> 00:31:53,680
She may find that an initial, rebellious leadership action puts her in an informal
authority position that requires trust, respect, and moral force in order to sustain
progress.”
380
00:31:53,680 –> 00:31:59,524
He talks about Gandhi. He talks about Martin Luther King quoting the Constitution.
381
00:31:59,524 –> 00:32:03,026
He talks about working within the system.
382
00:32:03,026 –> 00:32:08,802
And I think this is what we’re at the precipice of when we see this moment:
383
00:32:08,802 –> 00:32:24,355
Yaakov, who will ultimately become Israel, the nation, is launched from a position
of radical lack of authority. Slowly, he focuses on this and sees it
384
00:32:24,355 –> 00:32:38,104
with open eyes, for what it is—good, bad, and ugly—and then starts to make the
journey
385
00:32:38,104 –> 00:32:45,961
toward balancing the ability to leave those sleights of hand and those cutting
corners behind, and to do it right.
386
00:32:45,961 –> 00:32:47,262
But it’s a challenge.
387
00:32:47,262 –> 00:32:57,310
Nothing shows the challenge our patriarchs face—and that we as a people and nation
face every day—like this story.
388
00:32:57,430 –> 00:32:58,611
That’s great.
389
00:32:58,611 –> 00:33:01,474
And I want to say that it’s like the Israeli parliament.
390
00:33:01,474 –> 00:33:07,254
What they’re trying to do now is create order out of chaos.
391
00:33:07,254 –> 00:33:07,524
Right?
392
00:33:07,524 –> 00:33:12,916
There’s no government; they don’t know who goes with whom, and they’re trying to
create order.
393
00:33:12,916 –> 00:33:14,677
It’s the balance.
394
00:33:14,677 –> 00:33:22,360
Leadership is balancing leadership without authority and following a system,
following that authority.
395
00:33:22,360 –> 00:33:24,521
They’re going to have to make compromises.
396
00:33:24,521 –> 00:33:28,403
Everything they said when they ran is going to be tested.
397
00:33:28,403 –> 00:33:36,598
I think it’s a wonderful parsha to read while the Israeli government is going
through this challenge.
398
00:33:36,598 –> 00:33:42,419
And they always say about making laws: it’s like making sausages, right?
399
00:33:42,419 –> 00:33:44,381
You shouldn’t watch how it’s done.
400
00:33:44,381 –> 00:33:45,662
This is the challenge.
401
00:33:45,662 –> 00:33:48,503
It’s messy when you get into the weeds.
402
00:33:48,503 –> 00:33:50,224
So anyway, Shabbat shalom.
403
00:33:50,224 –> 00:33:52,465
Shabbat shalom, everybody. Welcome back, Geoffrey.
404
00:33:52,465 –> 00:33:54,065
We’ll see you next week.
405
00:33:54,245 –> 00:33:55,146
Shabbat shalom.
406
00:33:55,146 –> 00:33:56,136
See you then.



