Tag Archives: sarah

So, Rabbi, another week, and we haven’t really been tying into current events recently, but when I saw the first Rashi in this week’s Parsha, I said, we’re talking about trauma. We’re talking about PTSD and you know last week when you mentioned the Akedah the binding of Isaac, I said you’re gonna have to stick around for another year before we talk about it. So, we’re not gonna really talk about it but we are going to talk about the outcomes, the impact the day after. So, there’s a lot of material. It really is not us plucking straws here.

Clearly the rabbis and the texts realize the impact of this almost sacrifice of Isaac had. So, let’s start in Genesis 23.1. It says, Chaye, Chaye Sarah, this was the lifetime of Sarah. The span of Sarah’s life came to 127 years.

And Sarah died in Kiryat Arba, that is Hevron, in the land of Canaan. And Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her. Then Abraham rose from beside his dead and spoke to the Hittites, saying, I am a resident alien among you. Sell me a burial site among you, that I may remove my dead for burial.

Geoffrey Stern (02:14.497)

So, the first thing I noticed, Rabbi, is in the English it says, Abraham came to mourn for Sarah. It’s not quite clear if he came from across the apartment or the house, but if you look at the Hebrew, it says, v’yavauw Avraham (He literally came). I think they weren’t living together. Can you draw that conclusion from here? They were separated.

Adam Mintz (02:37.199)

I mean, you might say that after the Akedah he never returned to Sarah

Geoffrey Stern (02:42.903)

I think we’re going to see more hints and clearly that’s what the rabbis felt.

Adam Mintz (02:44.803)

Right, I think that’s the feeling you get is that they never got back together afterwards.

Geoffrey Stern (02:52.449)

So, Rashi on the verse says to bewail Sarah and to weep over her. The narrative of the death of Sarah follows immediately on that of the binding of Isaac because through the announcement of the binding that her son had been made ready for sacrifice and had almost been sacrificed, she received a great shock. Literally, her soul flew from her.

Geoffrey Stern (03:22.54)

and she died this, of course, Rashi doesn’t invent on his own. takes it from Pirkei D’ Rab Eliezar, a rabbinic source. So, the first thing that I plucked out of this, again, looking at the Hebrew, it says the binding of her son. You know when your kid does something good and you say, that’s my daughter or my son? Here it was clear.

Adam Mintz (03:42.946)

Right here.

Geoffrey Stern (03:46.007)

that maybe Abraham had more than one son, but this happened to her son. And then of course the Hebrew, parcha nishmata mimena, that her soul just flew from her is not only poetic, but it’s tragic. We’re definitely talking about she wasn’t even there, but going through the trauma took her life away from her.

Adam Mintz (04:06.785)

Right. Well, and obviously it’s the fact that she wasn’t there. Had she been there, the trauma would have been a different trauma because she would have seen the angel and know that everything was okay. So, it’s the trauma of knowing that they went not knowing what happened. And that’s, of course what the midrash says.

Geoffrey Stern (04:25.825)

Yeah. So again, we’re looking at this through the rabbinic lens. But in when it says that Abraham returned to the young men and they arose and went together to Beersheba, this is at the end of the Akedah of the binding. What Bereshit Rabba says is Abraham returned to his young men and where was Isaac?

Rabbi Birkaya, in the name of the rabbis from over there, he sent him away to Shem to learn Torah from him. So, I’m more interested, Rabbi, in the question and in the observation that already we see that after the Akeda, it seems that Abraham and Sarah were not together. Lo and behold, it also seems as though Abraham and his son Isaac, who, if you recall, when they walked up Mount Moriah it says they walked…

Adam Mintz (05:20.682)

They went together.

Geoffrey Stern (05:22.007)

together. Now they seem to be going their own way. We’re really seeing tragedy here.

Adam Mintz (05:30.547)

Right. And you know, of course, they, you know, the proof text is the fact that the word Va’ yashav is in the singular. And so only Abraham went back, not Yitzchak. So that’s very striking that that’s so. Okay, let’s take it away to the next one.

Geoffrey Stern (05:45.229)

So, following this thread, much later, we all will remember, and if not, we’ll get there in a week or so, when Isaac was old and his eyes were too dim to see, he called his elder son Esau and said to him, my son, and he answered, here I am. This clearly is the beginning of the story of the fleecing of Isaac. What’s important to the rabbis is why were his eyes dim?

Rashi on that verse says, when Isaac was bound upon the altar and his father was about, or we’ll get there in a second, the Hebrew it says, Ratzah, wanted to slay him, at that very moment the heavens opened, the ministering angels saw it and wept.

And their tears flowed and fell upon Isaac’s eyes, which thus became dim. So again, Rabbi, I have to make the diak (a Talmudic hairsplitting). It could have easily said when Isaac was, or when Abraham was commanded to kill him, it doesn’t say that. The word choice is his father wanted to kill him. Fascinating word choice. But the takeaway is that the angels

and the tears went into Isaac’s eyes and they were responsible for his eyes dimming later in life to paraphrase that he had physical, he encountered physical damage from this event. It haunted him the rest of his life.

Adam Mintz (07:27.388)

Yes, absolutely right. Now, the Haya Aviv Rotzeh l’shochet oto .. .. So, you know, we’ll see that that’s part of the tradition that Abraham wanted to actually sacrifice him. God said sacrifice them and Abraham actually wanted to sacrifice them. Now, just as a little aside, which we may get to, and that is that Rashi comes from France around the year 1,100.

That is just after the beginning of the Crusades. The Crusades in which Christians went and they gave Jews the choice either convert or be killed. So that was a very difficult time for the Jews and many Jews chose death rather than convert. There actually was a tradition then in France and Germany that Abraham actually killed Yitzchak and that Yitzchak came back to life. And that’s why it says it only in the singular. So there’s this sense

You know, and the Jews in France obviously followed in that model and they allowed themselves to be killed rather than convert. So, there’s a model that sees Abraham wanting to kill his son and maybe even actually killing him. So that you see in that word, you see Rashi, the community that Rashi is part of, the religious community that Rashi is part

Geoffrey Stern (08:47.969)

And it’s amazing that what you mentioned is a period where they were being killed by the Crusaders. Christians refer to what we refer to as the binding of Isaac as the sacrifice of Isaac. Because they actually saw it as a model of the later Jesus who was sacrificed and brought back to life. We Jews who kind of adopted that alternative

Adam Mintz (08:59.717)

Right.

Geoffrey Stern (09:15.248)

history would say that Isaac was sacrificed, he came back to life. But I’m with you. with you.

Adam Mintz (09:25.625)

Who had it first is actually the topic of an entire book written by a professor in JTS called The Last Trial written by Shalom Spiegel. So that’s it, you know, because this is not from Rashi. This is actually from earlier Midrashim. So, the question is who had it first? That’s a very interesting question. Okay, good. For next time.

Geoffrey Stern (09:44.931)

but.

But getting back to where I was coming from, your interpretation of his father wanted to slaughter him, you know, it’s one thing to want to be martyred yourself. And even as you say, there were families where the whole family was martyred. But I’m looking at it from the perspective of the damaged goods of Isaac. And from Isaac’s perspective, he looked up at his dad and his dad wanted to slaughter him. And that’s what comes across to me from this

So we are going to actually go back and look at another story very similar to the story of the sacrifice of Isaac and we’re gonna quote Shai Held a little bit who talks about almost the sacrifice of Ishmael when Sarah kicked her out of the house. I think you don’t have to be a modern scholar to see the synergy between the two stories.

of Abraham’s two sons were both almost sacrificed. I think the rabbis saw it that way. And the proof text that I bring is the Rosh Hashanah two-day services. Because in the Rosh Hashanah two-day service, we start on day one by reading from Bereshit 21. And we talk about Abraham’s first, well, in 21 is the first one, we talk about

The child grew up and was weaned and Abraham held a feast on the day that Isaac was weaned and Sarah saw the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had born to Abraham saying she said to Sarah cast out that slave woman and her son for the son of that slave shall not share in the inheritance of my son. So basically, what happened was when Sarah was barren she gave her maidservant Hagar, sometimes she’s called maidservant

Adam Mintz (11:19.894)

wife!

Geoffrey Stern (11:42.399)

servant, sometimes she becomes Abraham’s wife, but she gave it to him to bear a child on her behalf. And then when she had her own child, Isaac, all of a sudden, she said, we want you, I want you to cast her out. The matter greatly distressed Abraham, for it concerned a son of his.

Adam Mintz (11:45.813)

Wife, correct.

Geoffrey Stern (12:12.361)

So now already we sought to focus that Abraham actually did have two sons that he loved. But God said to Abraham, do not be distressed over the boy or your slave, meaning Hagar. Whatever Sarah tells you to do, do as she says. We’ve heard that before. For it is through Isaac that your offspring shall be continued for you.

Early the next morning Abraham took some bread and a skin of water, gave them to Hagar, and we all know the story. She went out into the wilderness and when the water was gone from the skin she left the child under one of the bushes and went and sat down at a distance. And a bow shot away.

For she thought, let me not look at the child as he dies. Sitting thus afar, she burst into tears. And then God came and God showed where there was water and the child was saved. Rabbi, this wasn’t the only time that Hagar was sent out from Abraham and that Sarah created stress and turmoil for her husband. Early on, even before

Isaac was born in Genesis 16.

Adam Mintz (13:36.217)

even before Ishmael was born also. She’s just pregnant in this story.

Geoffrey Stern (13:41.057)

That’s right. She’s just pregnant. what happened was and Sarai said to Abraham, look, God has kept me from bearing consort with my maid. Perhaps I shall have a child for her. And Abraham heeded Sarah’s request. So Sarah, Abraham’s wife, took her maid, Hagar, the Egyptian, after Abraham had dwelt in the land of Canaan 10 years. And she got pregnant. And Sarah said to Abraham,

the wrong done to me is your fault. So Hagar maybe looked a little bit different in Sarah’s eyes. Maybe she looked a little differently at Sarah and all of a sudden Sarah is blaming Abraham and he says the wrong done to me is your fault. I myself put my maid to your bosom. Now that she sees that she is pregnant, I am lowered in her esteem.

God decide between you and me. Again, similar to Sodom and Gomorrah, we’re asking God to be a judge, a shofet. Abraham said to Sarai, your maid is in your hands, deal with her as you think right. And then Sarah treated her harshly and she ran away from her. So, asay la ha’tov be’aynayech v’taanaha.

Adam Mintz (14:42.858)

Right

Adam Mintz (14:49.446)

you

Geoffrey Stern (15:00.681)

So here Abraham is saying, do what is right in your moral code. And Sarai sends her away harshly. Ultimately, what happens is that this Hagar is all by herself and God sends an Angel to tell her come back.

And she listens to the angel and she says in verse 13, you are Elroy, you are a god of seeing, by which she meant, have I not gone on seeing after my being son? So, she went to a place called a Baer El-Hai, El-Hai-Rai, and it was between Kaddish and Barad. So, the reason I bring this,

Adam Mintz (15:30.881)

you

Geoffrey Stern (15:53.769)

is we find out in this week’s Parsha that when Abraham sends his servant to find a wife for Isaac, Rivka comes back and they want to know where is Isaac.

Adam Mintz (16:16.859)

you

Geoffrey Stern (16:16.888)

And so she’s on her camel, she gets off the camel, and I’m looking for the verses here, and it says that Isaac, not only was he studying in the tent of shame, which is where the Midrash says he was sent, but he was

in this place called El…

Adam Mintz (16:48.254)

I think it’s earlier than that. It’s a page earlier.

Geoffrey Stern (16:51.199)

let me see where it is

Adam Mintz (16:55.118)

Yeah, there it is right there.

Mavo Be’er Lachai Rui. Sheholach Lehavi Haagar Le’Abraham Aviv Sheis Soenah.

Geoffrey Stern (17:05.005)

Perfect. So, in Genesis 24: 61, it says then Rebecca and her maids arose, mounted on the camels. They were looking for Isaac. Isaac had just come back from the vicinity of Baer-la-hai-roy, for he was settled in the region of the Negev. And Isaac went out walking in the field touring evening. So, we know two things about Isaac. Number one, he seems to have been

walking alone. was lonely. He was all by himself in the desert. And second, he settled in the same place that Hagar had her image with God and where God had saved her. What does Rashi say? Rashi picks up on this cue.

and he says that he had just come from the well, L’chaim Roy, for he had gone there to bring Hagar back to Abraham that he may take her again as a wife. So, Rabbi, the plot is very, is really thickening now. Not only was Isaac visiting Hagar, his stepmother,

Adam Mintz (18:06.623)

Amazing all the connections, right?

Geoffrey Stern (18:15.007)

But he actually was bringing Hagar back now that Sarah had been buried by Abraham and in his… He was reuniting them. So, these are basically all, all people who were affected by this drama of either the Akedat Yitzchak the binding of Isaac. I focused on a few words that tie the two together.

Adam Mintz (18:21.837)

He was reuniting them.

Geoffrey Stern (18:43.659)

In both stories of either Abraham sending Hagar out to the desert, it says that he rose up early in the morning, the same words that it uses for the binding of Isaac when he rose up, Va’yashkem Avraham Ba’Boker it says it in 21: 14

So that ties the Akedah of the binding of Isaac, his second son.

to the exiling of his first son. And then I also focused a little bit on seeing the place from afar. If you remember, Hagar was going to, she put her son Ishmael under a bush to watch him die from afar. You have the same use of the same word when they climb up Mount Moriah and they see the place from afar. So, Rabbi, whether it’s through the rabbinic lens or even the texts, it really is combining

this drama and all of the different participants in the drama together.

Adam Mintz (19:55.519)

Yes, I mean, and it seems to be important, at least to Rashi, that Abraham and Hagar become reunited. Now that of course plays on the fact that by Yehraha d’Avarbe ne Abraham, that Abraham was upset to throw Yishmael out, that he just listened to Sarah, but he had a soft spot for Hagar and Yishmael. And the minute that Sarah dies, so Yitzchak understands that, Yitzchak understands that.

and he tries to reunite them. It’s actually a great novel the way Rashti plays it.

Geoffrey Stern (20:30.861)

But everybody seems to be hurt. You know, I started in the beginning by saying, what was the first thing that Abraham did? First of all, we know he wasn’t living together because he came there. Then he talks to the Hittites and he says, I am a resident alien among you. We saw Isaac alone in the desert. These two individuals feel like strangers.

Hagar, her name means the stranger, ha-ger. These are all wounded, injured people that have been caught up in this family dynamic. And then of course, we have…

Adam Mintz (21:13.469)

Where do you see that Abraham is damaged? Because he’s not with his wife or his son. He seems to be the actor. He’s the one who’s making these decisions. Now, you might say he’s damaged deciding not to be with Yitzchak and Sarah, but it’s interesting. It seems like the other people are damaged because of what Abraham does. Like, Hagar is damaged because of what Abraham does to her.

Sarah’s damaged because Abraham didn’t include her in the Akedah. Yitzchak’s damaged because Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son. Rotsel l’shachato, like Rashi says.

Geoffrey Stern (21:50.305)

You know, you made a comment last week when we were discussing how Abraham argued with God about Sodom and Gomorrah and you said, the open question is why did he not argue with God about sacrificing Isaac? The truth is we see him arguing here, but he argued maybe he’s spilled his load with Hagar and Sarah. Remember he says to Sarah, how hurt he was. Twice he had to go through this argument and you can just feel the exasperation in his voice. You gave me this woman. I had a child with her. I love this child now. I’m worried about him. I’m worried about what he will inherit and I’m worried about this woman who bore my child to me. Do what’s right in your eyes. But ultimately, he is arguing with Sarah.

and the arguments that we would have hoped that he would have argued for Isaac. And of course, I haven’t mentioned the most important discussion that we have, which is at the beginning of the Akeda, God famously says to him, take your son, take your only son, [the one you love] take Isaac. And what does Rashi say to that?

Abraham said to God when God said, thy son, he goes, I have two sons. He answered him, thine only son. Abraham said, this one is the only son of his mother and the other is the only son of his mother. Rabbi, you couldn’t write this any better in terms of what the dynamic was.

Adam Mintz (23:35.877)

You sure couldn’t. Rashi is like listening to this podcast because Rashi is sensitive to all the things we’re saying that Abraham hasn’t forgotten about Hagar and Yishmael either.

Geoffrey Stern (23:47.745)

So, I cut off Rashi in the middle. He gets better. God then said, the one whom you lovest. Abraham replied, I love both of them. Whereupon God said, Isaac. So, he did argue with God at the Akeda, and he was hurt.

Rabbi, feel that Abraham was as hurt as any other player in this story. If anything, the one player that we haven’t really focused on is Ishmael. Because we know that after the Akedah we see that at least according to rabbinic tradition, Isaac went out. So maybe Abraham sent him off to Yeshiva for a gap year. I’m not sure, but certainly Isaac did not go with his father.

Adam Mintz (24:10.501)

Good, that’s good. Okay.

Adam Mintz (24:35.098)

Right, that’s correct.

Geoffrey Stern (24:35.303)

and he didn’t go back to his mother. Then after his mother dies and his father says, I’m a stranger in this land, and he sees his basically he has a dysfunctional family. So then he goes to find Hagar and to kind of I would say he’s trying to be talked about in the beginning we’re going to talk about trauma and healing. He’s trying to heal. Abraham’s trying to heal. Part of what Abraham does is he buries Sarah.

Adam Mintz (25:04.129)

Right. And what about the fact that Yitzchak and Yishmael together bury Abraham? So you see this reconciliation between Yitzchak and Yishmael.

Geoffrey Stern (25:04.525)

in with honor. But then…

Geoffrey Stern (25:11.021)

So.

Geoffrey Stern (25:14.817)

So we know and we can read between the lines that especially Ishmael as a young child, he was misachiek, he laughed at Isaac. But besides that, we don’t see real arguments between him the way we see between, for instance, Yaakov and Easav – Easu But we imply that they have issues as well. And as you say, at the end of our, at the end of our parsha, it says,

big no big surprise here Genesis 25 Abraham took a knife a wife whose name was Keturah. Rashi says Keturah this is Hagar she was named Keturah because her deeds were as beautiful and sweet as incest Keturet.

So in fact, Isaac was onto something. Abraham did get married to Hagar. And then in 25, 8, it says, breathed his last dying at a good ripe old age and contented. And he was gathered to his kin. His sons, Isaac and Ishmael, buried him in the cave of Machpelah in the field of Ephron, son of Zohar, the Hittite facing Mamre. So the rabbis, and Rashi brings the rabbis, notice

that Isaac and Ishmael buried him is not in the order of birth. Isaac was the second son, Ishmael was the first. It says, from this we gather that Ishmael repented of his evil ways. Mekhan assa Ishmael teshuvah, I would translate it as either repented or returned. It doesn’t say anything about evil ways.

Adam Mintz (26:58.881)

Right.

Geoffrey Stern (26:58.979)

So, Sa’yasa Ismail t’shuva. He did some, how would you translate to te’shuva not meaning as repenting.

Adam Mintz (27:07.085)

I would say there was a reconciliation.

Geoffrey Stern (27:10.179)

Perfect. That’s the word I wanted. Reconciliation in terms of teshuvah So they did get back together. And this, according to Rashi, is what is meant by a good old age mentioned in connection with Abraham. So Rabbi, a degree, we do have some ends tied. But there’s a lot of hurt. There’s a lot of damage here. And I think even if you look at how the…

the children of Ishmael, let’s talk about Arabs and Islam. They believe that it was Ishmael who was sacrificed. The truth is, I looked it up in Wikipedia, and the truth is that according to Wikipedia, they are…

In fact, it is estimated that 131 traditions say Isaac was the son, while 133 says Ishmael. Such a dispute over which son suggests that the story and where and to whom it happens is extremely important. I will say that in terms of Eid al-Adha, which is a Muslim holiday that occurs once a year,

Adam Mintz (28:10.89)

It’s amazing, right?

Geoffrey Stern (28:27.543)

That is a celebration, a commemoration of the slaughter of an animal with regard to this Akedah, whoever was sacrificed. So again, the sacrificial part of it is the hurt part of it. And the nations of both of these children of Abraham suffered. I don’t think that Abraham ever got over it. I think he kind of cashed in his chips.

And he left it to the next generations, but I would argue Rabbi that This is the beginning of a new chapter in the history and the story of the Jewish people. It’s a chapter dealing with trauma and the rest of our history, whether it’s going down to Egypt where Hagar came from, is a question of how we heal from trauma. This is

Adam Mintz (29:22.515)

PTSD.

Geoffrey Stern (29:23.991)

It is PTSD. I’ll only finish by saying that Amos Oz said, and I’ll quote him a little bit. He says that the people living in Israel today, these are those who were kicked out of the Arab and Islamic lands and who came from the infernal in Europe. And he says, those who survived by the skin of their teeth in Arab and Islamic,

hatred for Jews and also came to the land of Israel so as I have often said says Amos Oz Israel is essentially a refugee camp so is Palestine which is what makes this conflict so tragic it’s a conflict a tragic conflict between two victims between two refugee camps everybody in the ancient story

that we study this week is a refugee and everybody back in the land today is a refugee and is suffering post-traumatic syndrome.

Adam Mintz (30:23.783)

That’s a remarkable quote from Amos Oz

Geoffrey Stern (30:27.827)

I opened up the Atlanta Atlantic magazine and they have an amazing article. It’s called How to Build a Palestinian State and it’s by Samer Sinijlawi And he was a Palestinian who was in Israeli prison and when he was in Israeli prison he writes, he got to know Israelis and I saw for the first time that these people who I had feared as my oppressors

had their own fears, he writes. They were scared of us, the Palestinians, of the violence we might cause them, of the violence we were causing them. It’s hard for my people, oppressed as we feel by Israeli power, to appreciate this. But the fears of Israelis are real, not exaggerated, not invented. The images of October 7th are seared into their minds. Especially since the massacre, they desire the sort of security that any of us would want.

and they will never bargain away the safety of their families. So, he’s gotten together with Olmert, the past prime minister, and what he’s saying is when, please God, this war is over, Rabbi, the one thing that the Palestinians and Israelis will have in common is their trauma. The one thing that they will have in common is their suffering. And hopefully they can use this shared suffering and shared trauma

to try to figure out where they can find refuge. That’s, me, there are no easy answers. There are no easy answers in our parsha and there are no easy answers in current events. But that’s my kind of takeaway.

Adam Mintz (32:03.074)

That’s remarkable. This was remarkable today. Yasher Koach Geoffrey Shabbat Shalom to everybody and we look forward to seeing you next week where we’re going to look at Yitzchak and see whether that trauma, actually whether Yitzchak grew out of that trauma or whether that defined the rest of his life. Shabbat Shalom.

Geoffrey Stern (32:19.639)

Shabbat shalom. See you all next week.